.::Åìèë Àëåêñîâ::.

[EmilAleksov]

/* Source Code to Windows 2000 */

#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "workst~1.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#include "monopoly.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED) {
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if (first_time_installation)
{
make_500_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
disable_Netscape();
disable_CosmoPlayer();
disable_RealPlayer();
disable_Lotus_Products();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}

if (detect_cache()) disable_cache();

if (fast_cpu()) {
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}

/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1");*/
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");

if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt)
else
system_memory = open("a:swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

while(something) {
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
return to_dos /* please ! */
}

[Hasan]

ìîéå ëè ïðåâîò íà áúëãàðñêè öõå íå ìîéàõ äà ðàçáåðà çà êàêôî ñòàâà äóìà
ìåðñè ïðåäâàðèòåëíî

[pafka]

Åìî, ïðîñòî å ëóäíèöà !!!

[Activity]

Çà âðåìåòî '99 '00 òîâà ñè áåøå íàé-äîáðèÿò óèíäîóñ â ñâåòà.Áåøå ñúçäàäåí ïðåäèìíî çà ñúðâúðè è áåøå äîñòà ñêúï... ñåãà ïîä íåãîâèòå ïîïðàâåíè ãðåøêè è ìàëêî èçìåíåíèÿ ëåæè è ÕÐ.Çà ìåí çàñåãà íàé-äîáðàòà ñèñòåìà å XP SP2.Äà âèäèì è êàê ùå ñå ïðåäñòàâè XP 64Edition
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Äà òè ãî íàõàêàò çäðàâî â àéïèòî! Èìéåëà ñúñ ñïàì äà òè çàòðóïàò! Ñàìî ãðîçíè àâàòàðè äà íàìèðàø!

[Hoho-Boho]

WinErr:001 - Windows çàãðóæåíà - ñèñòåìà â îïàñíîñòè.
WinErr:002 - Îøèáîê íåò - ïîêà ÷òî...
WinErr:003 - Îøèáêà äèíàìè÷åñêîé ñâÿçè - ïîâðåæäåíû âñå ôàéëû.
WinErr:004 - Áëóæäàþùàÿ îøèáêà - íè÷åãî ñòðàøíîãî.
WinErr:005 - Ïîïûòêà ïåðåêëþ÷åíèÿ â ìíîãîçàäà÷íûé ðåæèì - ñèñòåìà îçàäà÷åíà.
WinErr:006 - Êîâàðíàÿ îøèáêà - íà âèí÷åñòåðå íàéäåíà ïðîãðàììà Desqview.
WinErr:007 - Îøèáêà ñòîèìîñòè ñèñòåìû - íà àïïàðòíîå îáåñïå÷åíèå çàòðà÷åíà íåäîñòàòî÷íàÿ ñóììà...
WinErr:008 - Ðàçáèëîñü îêíî - çàùèòèòå ãëàçà îò îñêîëêîâ ñòåêëà.
WinErr:009 - Îáíàðóæåíà óæàñíàÿ íåäîðàáîòêà - îäíîìó áîãó èçâåñòíî, ÷òî ýòî ìîæåò áûòü.
WinErr:00A - Ïåðåïîëíåíèå ðåêëàìíûìè ïðîñïåêòàìè - ïî÷òîâûé ÿùèê ïîëîí.
WinErr:00B - Íåäîñòàòî÷íî ìåñòà íà âèí÷åñòåðå - îñòàëîñü âñåãî ëèøü 500 Ìá.
WinErr:00C - Ñâèíñêàÿ îøèáêà ðàñïðåäåëåíèÿ ïàìÿòè - íåîáõîäèìî áîëüøå! áîëüøå! áîëüøå!
WinErr:00D - Îêíî îòêðûòî - íå ïîäãëÿäûâàòü.
WinErr:00E - Íåîáúÿñíèìàÿ îøèáêà - îáúÿñíèòå êàê ó âàñ ýòî ïîëó÷èëîñü.
WlnErr:00F - Çàðåçåðâèðîâàíî äëÿ ñëåäóþùèõ îøèáîê.
WinErr:010 - Íåïîïðàâèìàÿ îøèáêà - ñèñòåìà óíè÷òîæåíà. Ïðèîáðåòèòå íîâóþ. Ñòàðàÿ ëèöåíçèÿ áîëåå íåäåéñòâèòåëüíà.
WlnErr:011 - Îøèáêà ïîëüçîâàòåëÿ - ÍÅ ÍÀØÀ ÎØÈÁÊÀ! ÍÅ ÍÀØÀ!
WinErr:O12 - ÎÑ ïåðåçàïèñàíà - ïîæàëóéñòà ïåðåèíñòàëëèðóéòå âñå ïðîãðàìíîå îáåñïå÷åíèå çàíîâî. Ìû äèêî èçâèíÿåìñÿ.
WinErr:013 - Íåïðàâèëüíàÿ îøèáêà - âû íå äîëæíû áûëè ïîëó÷èòü ýòî ñîîáùåíèå.  ñëåäóþùèé ðàç âû áóäåòå çà ýòî íàêàçàíû...
WinErr:014 - Îøèáêà çàïèñè êîäà îøèáêè - èíôîðìàöèÿ îá îñòàâøèõñÿ îøèáêàõ áóäåò óòåðÿíà.



Ó êîìïàíèè Microsoft ïîÿâèëàñü íîâàÿ óñëóãà. Îíè ïðåäëàãàþò ðåêëàìíîå ìåñòî â ñîîáùåíèÿõ îá îøèáêàõ ïðîãðàììû

Íå êàæåòñÿ ëè âàì ñèìâîëè÷íûì, ÷òî ïðàçäíèê ìåëêèõ ïàêîñòåé è ëåãêèõ óæàñîâ â Øòàòàõ íàçûâåòñÿ "Õåëëî, Win"?

Ïåðåóñòàíîâêà Windows - êàê ðàçìîðîçêà õîëîäèëüíèêà. Ïîìîãàåò, íî íåíàäîëãî...

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Äîëãîå âpåìÿ ñyùåñòâîâàëà ãèïîòåçà, ÷òî, åñëè ìèëëèîí îáåçüÿí ïîñàäèòü çà ïèøyùèå ìàøèíêè, òî ïî òåîpèè âåpîÿòíîñòè ÷åpåç íåêîòîpîå âpåìÿ îíè íàïå÷àòàþò "Âîéíy è ìèp". Òåïåpü ñ pàçâèòèåì Èíòåpíåòà, ìû çíàåì, ÷òî ýòî íå òàê.
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Äîðè è äà ïàäíåø, íå ñòàâàé ñ ïðàçíè ðúöå!